so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize