it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
