my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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