I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
