is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
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Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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