do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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