oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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two words...techno handjob
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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