Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
