1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
