What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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