Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
