Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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