marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
