yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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