Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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