Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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