and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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