Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Your penis caused this!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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