When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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