i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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