Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
