Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
