I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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