You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize