I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
