I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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