that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
