No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
