im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
