would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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