Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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