He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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