I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
