we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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