I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
