You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
