It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize