I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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