Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
