we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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