By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
