Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
