He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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