He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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