Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
im on a boat
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