just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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