i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
