The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
