Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
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