WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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