Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Let's get the cat blown out
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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