Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
