Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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