Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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