So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
