Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize